I was upset with my scoring and took the test three times. Each time I got the same outcome. One. I don't want to be a one. So I took on my second place rating, two, "The Helper." Being a helper sounds so much better than being a perfectionist! In counseling a few months ago, we talked about the Enneagram and discovered how fitting it was that I am a one. (What a downer...) I was given a paper that describes the "one". I read through it once and quickly forgot about it. Yesterday I came across it in my journal.
And it is eerily fitting for my life. And so hilarious that I did not want to be a one at first. It is so me.
Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals.
How to Get Along with Me
- Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work.
- Acknowledge my achievements.
- I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am.
- Tell me that you value my advice.
- Be fair and considerate, as I am.
- Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me forgive.
- Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first.
What I Like About Being a One
- Being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal.
- Working hard to make the world a better place.
- Having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself.
- Being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do.
- Being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions.
- Being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people.
What's Hard About Being a One
- Being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not me
- Feeling burdened by too much responsibility
- Not being appreciated for what I do for people
- Being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am
- Obsessing about what I did or what I should do
- Being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously
Ones as Children Often
- Criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others.
- Refrain from doing things they think might not come out perfect.
- Focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers. (grandparents in my case)
- Are very responsible; may assume the role of parent.
- Hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry").