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Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Perfectionist

According to the Enneagram Personality test, I am a one. "The Perfectionist"
I was upset with my scoring and took the test three times. Each time I got the same outcome. One. I don't want to be a one. So I took on my second place rating, two, "The Helper." Being a helper sounds so much better than being a perfectionist! In counseling a few months ago, we talked about the Enneagram and discovered how fitting it was that I am a one. (What a downer...) I was given a paper that describes the "one". I read through it once and quickly forgot about it. Yesterday I came across it in my journal.
And it is eerily fitting for my life. And so hilarious that I did not want to be a one at first. It is so me.

Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals.

How to Get Along with Me
  • Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work.
  • Acknowledge my achievements.
  • I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am.
  • Tell me that you value my advice.
  • Be fair and considerate, as I am.
  • Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me forgive.
  • Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first.

What I Like About Being a One
  • Being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal.
  • Working hard to make the world a better place.
  • Having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself.
  • Being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do.
  • Being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions.
  • Being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people.

What's Hard About Being a One
  • Being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not me
  • Feeling burdened by too much responsibility 
  • Not being appreciated for what I do for people
  • Being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am
  • Obsessing about what I did or what I should do
  • Being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously

Ones as Children Often
  • Criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others.
  • Refrain from doing things they think might not come out perfect.
  • Focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers. (grandparents in my case)
  • Are very responsible; may assume the role of parent.
  • Hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry").