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Thursday, November 26, 2009

give thanks

Today is a day of reflection and giving thanks, however we should not limit giving thanks to just one day- we should to it all year long.

I have so much to be thankful for...

My savior, Jesus Christ- Without His grace, I would not be half the person I am today. I give my Lord my all.

My mother- She is a single parent raising two children on one salary, without any child support. She has done an excellent job, if I say so myself, even though she doesn't believe it at times. Thank your mommies today.

My grandparents- Without the help of my mom's parents, I don't think we would have made it. They both assisted in raising us, since our father isn't around. My grandpa fixes anything that needs to be fixed and helps mom keep her finances on track... and he's really awesome.  My grandma was our primary babysitter when Jace and I were younger.She taught me how to cook and I get my cleanliness from her.

Sage- My puppy brings me so much joy. On my worst day, she can wag her tail at me, and I am instantly cheered.

My beautiful friends- They lift me up when I'm down, can put a smile on my face on the darkest of days, and are overall fantastic. I love each and every one of you. <3

The chance to earn a college education- I do have taken out loans, and I'm probably going to be in debt a while after I graduate, but at least I'm getting a degree. At least I have the resources and am getting the opportunity. I get to choose my future, and I am so grateful for that.

Passions and dreams to live out- There is so much I want to do with my future. So many passions and dreams I want to pursue. Some of them may not come true, but I'm able to dream. I have the opportunity to dream and wish.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

my "Things I Look Forward to Every Week" list

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.
e e cummings

Here is my "Things I Look Forward to Every Week" list... what a title.

-How I Met Your Mother Monday nights
-Hanging out with Erin for five hours Monday
-SVU marathon Tuesday and Thursday's
-EEC 4661 on Tuesdays because my professor is AWESOME. She always makes us treats or we do arts & crafts! 
-Days I don't have to work
-Friday afternoons... as long as I don't have to work
-Payday. I feel so greedy and terrible about putting this, but it's the truth. 

My list is kind of boring, but that's beside the point. The point is I must not discouraged, because there are things I have to look forward to.  The point is there is more than good grades and getting a paycheck.

Monday, November 16, 2009

“ I don’t believe in forgive and forget. We’re not wired to forget but wired to remember so we’ll be challenged to keep loving and forgiving. Wired to remember how we’ve been forgiven…"

Bryce Avary, The Rocket Summer

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

just love.

Love God, Love others.

Loving unconditionally is something I will struggle with all of my life, but I believe it's what I'm called to do, as a follower of Jesus Christ.

It's particularly hard for me, because if someone doesn't see eye-to-eye with me, I get so frustrated. I want everyone to see things my way.  While I realize that is completely unrealistic, I can't seem to shake myself of this terrible habit.

I have a lot of questions and struggles with loving unconditionally. Should I love the people purposely who hurt others? People who knowingly commit wrongs day in and out? People who don't respect themselves or others? Abusive people? Greedy people? Should I love people who murder?  What about my father? Should I love him? But he abandoned me.

While I know the answer to each of these questions is "yes," it brings me so many struggles. Even heartache on some days. I know these struggles of mine will never go away, because unconditionally loving everyone is not something I believe I'm capable of as a human, but only something to strive for.

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, It is between you and God;
It never was between you and them anyway."

—Mother Teresa

Sunday, November 1, 2009

A new month...

I'm more than ready for a break.  Thanksgiving couldn't come any sooner.  I'm falling behind in my reading and I have five observations to do in the next month.  I have one paper due a week, and most weeks I have multiple papers due.  On top of that, I'm scheduled 20 hours a week at Kohl's, along with occasional babysitting- but that's still tentative.  I'm beginning to despise my job at Kohl's and I regret taking it.  They are really big into credit- having people open charge cards. I've worked three weeks and have yet to open one.  I'm asked multiple times each shift I work (it averages 3-5) and each time my answer is "no."  It makes me feel awful.  I stress out more over stupid credit than I do over my school.  That should not be the case.  I have two months left of working there.  I hope I can push through it.

It's hard to believe it's already November... and the weather is still too warm! I'm ready to wear sweaters and cardigans and hoodies. I'm ready to wake up cold and drink hot chocolate.  To drive with my windows down without sweating. Central Florida is not really the place for me, but neither is the north. I think Northern Florida/Georgia is the place for me.  There are seasons and it gets a little cool, but there won't be five months of cold feet for me to suffer through.

I adore going to church over here.  It's nothing incredible or anything, but the sense of community and WORSHIP is so... awesome, for lack of a better word.  Worship occupies most of the service, and the praise band is on the talented side.  While I miss my church at home, church here is a nice replacement.

Time changes mess me up... it's only 6pm and it's already dark out. I woke up this morning at 6:30 thinking it was time to get up. Once I'm used to this, it will be time to change the clocks once again.

Here's some good reading:
(click the title to be taken to the link :)

Goodness precedes Greatness
Find your core

Until next time. <3